This is the first of what will hopefully be many guest reviews by my friend Lindsay. – Al

Outlander

Writers: Dirk Blackman & Howard McCain

Director: Howard McCain

Starring: Jim Caviezel, Sophia Myles, John Hurt

Year: 2008

A human-looking alien is transporting a vicious not-human-looking alien in his ship when he falls asleep at the console and drifts off the road and hits a planet.

Our planet.

Only this time he doesn’t have to convince those pesky Men in Black types to let him do his job and secure the Big Bad Flesh Devouring Psycho Beast From Hell™. The only folks he has to worry about live in villages, dress in fur and have a thing for axes. That’s right folks: Aliens vs. Vikings. It’s almost as awesome as it sounds.

This film has some real solid performances from everyone. John Hurt’s in grizzly old chief mode as the aging ruler of his village; Sophia Myles channels her inner Ripley as his feisty daughter; And Jesus returns to kick ass and chew bubblegum…you know the rest.

There isn’t much of a story to speak of – it’s closer to a survival-horror flick – but the action and tension is paced well enough that you don’t notice it so much. The creature effects are nothing short of ooaarrrsome, and the swordplay is definitely worth paying attention to.

Endings of movies like this always, always feel like a bit of a let-down. The writer clearly thought “What if an alien was taking out Vikings? Hell yeah!” – unfortunately such concepts all too often are not developed into a fully realised story. I didn’t feel like I’d wasted my time with the flick, but I wasn’t entirely satisfied. There is a pretty interesting twist in the proceedings that create a decent emotional arc for our hero.

Oh, and Ron Perlman turns up and smashes some folk with a big freakin’ hammer.

How to enjoy it.

On ‘Man’s Choice’ date night – eat a romantic pizza, drink something mildly  intoxicating and cuddle up with your significant other.

Rating – 3 out of 5 (Average)