No word of a lie: my four year old son used to plead for me to sing this to him every night at bedtime.
Massive thanks to the team at Bad Lip Reading for existing. Check out more of their stuff here and laugh yourself silly.
Welcome to the new week.
Author Archives
Fighting the End of the World
We’ve reached the end of the first week in which Esoteric Fish have attempted to lighten your mood a little. It was a little rough – we’ve lost some wonderful creators in these past weeks, along with the devastation caused by our collective microbial adversary.
But as we sign off for the weekend, we leave you all with our best wishes, our prayers for health and safety, and above all, a strategy that could save us all.
At least…maybe it could have saved this franchise.
Max Von Sydow – Five Farewells: Flash Gordon
So I’ve referenced the fact that, to me at least, Max Von Sydow was an actor who was for the longest time one of those faces that very recognisable, but just never registered in the way that Harrison Ford or Tom Cruise or Sam Jones did. Whether or not this is shared by anyone else, I long had the impression that Uncle Max was no simply a “face”, but he had always been and “old face”. I recognised him as an old man (or at least older) in the films that I remembered him from – and this is a point we’ll come back to in a later post.
The truth is, however, that he was not perpetually “70 or so” – he was once a young, strong man with a young, strong face, and the first time I realized this was when I finally saw
Oh Son…that is the cover from a “Choose Your Own Adventure” book.
Flash Gordon
Year: 1980
Director: Mike Hodges
Writers: Lorenzo Semple, Jr. & Michael Allin
Starring: Sam J. Jones, Melody Anderson, Ornella Muti, Timothy Dalton, Mariangela Melato, Brian Blessed, Peter Wyngarde, Topol and…Max Von Sydow.
Based on characters created by Alex Raymond.
If you are unfamiliar with the 1980 film that defines “campy schlock”, you are most certainly familiar with it’s magnificent theme song by the legendary band Queen. It’s the one that goes *bu bu bu bu bu bom bom bom bom Bom Bom BOm BOm BOM BOM BOM* FLASH…AA-AAAAAAA, Saviour of the Un-I-Verse!”
I lack the necessary words to convey just how important it is that you go out and watch this movie immediately. Whatever the stories behind the making of this beautiful mess, watching it has felt a little like watching a massive prank being pulled on one man by his college-mates, plus a few professors. So many British thespians (plus Topol!) appear in this flick, and every one of them has stepped straight out of the River of Ham, and are having a marvelous time. The only guy “playing it straight” is the films lead, Sam J. Jones as Flash Gordon. The result is hilariously entertaining, as the titular hero rockets to the planet Mongo to prevent galactic tyrant Ming the Merciless (Sydow) from destroying the earth.
Sydow effortlessly dominates this movie, establishing as magnetic presence that fixes the audience to the screen every time he shows up. I mentioned that in his great career, Sydow showed up in a fair bit of sci-fi or horror schlock, but in most roles he’s playing with sense of serious grace, raising the standard of the film he’s in. Flash Gordon is that rare occasion when he gets in on the over-the-top glory with his performance.
Flash Gordon has more than earned its place in the cult classic vault, and Max Von Sydow is a big part of that.
Oh go on then…I’ll leave you with the song.
Stuart Gordon, Gone Beyond – 24th March, 2020
We bid a very fond farewell this week to Stuart Gordon – visionary director; subversive social commentator; cheeky bugger. In what is proving to be a crushing week for my creative spirit, Gordon has passed away at the age of 72. While he was not a household name the likes of Spielberg or Kubrick, to fans of genre cinema – most especially horror – he stands out among his peers as being one of the most unique filmmakers of the 80’s and 90’s. Whatever else one might say about him, his voice was truly his own.
There’s something of a rite of passage for movie guys of a certain generation – it comes about when one progresses from the point of being fascinated by the VHS covers in the genre sections of their local video store (ask your parents kids), to finally watching the movies themselves. When I was a kid our family would make weekly trips to the bargain video barn, and while my brother and sister searched and made their choices, I would slip away to the horror section, and gaze upon the terrifying, but engrossing, cover art. I would never dream of actually watching one, mind – I was way too intimidated. I was fascinated at their existence though. Many of those cover images are indelibly burned into my mind, but none moreso than-
Stuart Gordon’s Re-Animator, based on a short story by H.P. Lovecraft, is an entry point for many into the magnificent fusion of horror and comedy. It is Gordon’s first and most widely known film, but is really indicative of his output as a whole. It is a film that combines genuine heart, biting satire, laugh-out-loud humour and gross-out horror sequences. It is bizarre, upsetting, tense, ridiculous, funny, awful, disgusting and at points in phenomenally bad taste…and I love every second of it.
While best known as a horror director, Gordon actually had a diverse output on screen and on stage, directing plays which may have been his greater passion. Gordon is responsible for bonkers sci-fi schlock Robot Jox, but also for a staple of my childhood, Honey I Shrunk The Kids.
Gordon scared me hysterical, and I loved him for it. Vale Stuart, I doubt we’ll see another like you.
We encourage you to read more of Stuart Gordon, who was a bizarre inspiration, but a great one.
Vale, Albert Uderzo – March 24th, 2020
There’s not a single person I went to high school with – nor anyone who was a student anywhere at the same time as me – who is unfamiliar with the work of Albert Uderzo, though it is entirely possible they might not quite register the name. Collaborating with his long time creative partner, René Goscinny, they delivered to my generation the most constant source of entertainment on every school property, always located prominently on a display stand of the library.
The Asterix series.
These timeless comics were a magnificent bridge between generations, nationalities and sub-cultures. Parents happily endorsed their kids reading the adventures of the diminutive resident of the unnamed village resisting Roman occupation and his rotund but kindhearted companion, Obelix. As a comic book reader and collector in general, I lost count of the number of conversations that went something like:
They: What are you reading?
Me: A comic.
They: Oh. I’ve never been into comics. I really like Asterix though.
Asterix was a common ground for so many people in life – a truly remarkable legacy that any artist would dream of being a part. Goscinny, who wrote the series, passed away in 1977, leaving Uderzo as the sole creator until 2008.
I first learned to draw by copying Uderzo’s characters; when I was too sick to go to school, Asterix books were my constant companions; I once dressed up as Asterix for a primary school book parade.
Albert Uderzo made an impact on my life I will never forget.
The Tao of Cal
For the wordsmiths amongst you
Calvin & Hobbes by Bill Watterson, 1985-1995.
Still the Greatest Man on the Internet
It has occurred to me today that some of you may have some difficulty in remembering how to smile. I hereby turn you over to our Master and Sage.
Happy Thursday.
We. Are. Groot.
I’m taking up the challenge to bring a smile to your face every day we are kept apart.
So here’s dancing Baby Groot.
This isn’t forever people.
Max Von Sydow – Five Farewells: Citizen X
For the longest time, Max Von Sydow was one of those perennial “faces” in film. You know, the ones who show up and make you go “Hey! That’s the guy from…” I’m speaking of my personal experience of course. As such, he was never someone that I was particularly looking for when I picked out movies at the video store, or took recommendations from one of my High School French teachers. For the life of me I can’t remember how we got into something of a contest – recommending movies to each other that had not seen theatrical release in Australia. The goal was to go obscure, but still give a hook to convince one another that the movie was actually worth watching. Continue reading
It’s time to play some music…
If you have stumbled across this today, seeking some sense of relief from anxiety or fear regarding the world at this moment in time,
then please, even for just a moment, allow me to share that which never fails to make me smile.
Ladies and Gentlemen…Fozzie and Rowlf.
Hope that brightened your day…even just a little.
Be blessed.
